You know you're getting old when:

1) you see a cute guy running from bar to bar on Halsted, hands jammed into his jeans and shoulders bunched up, and instead of thinking how hot he is all you can think about is how cold it is outside, and what an idiot he is not to be encased a down coat and sixteen scarves.

2) you start interviewing people for professional jobs who could biologically be your children.

3) you go shopping for clothes and all you can think is that no one makes anything worth buying anymore.

4) you don't mind when the kid behind the counter calls you sir.

5) the guys you thought were trolls five years ago all of sudden seem interesting.

6) you look back at the '80's with bemusement instead of bewilderment.

7) you realize you wouldn't relive the last twenty years for anything.

8) you don't miss being twenty five.

9) you realize you could work yourself up into a big hissy fit, but then ask yourself if the expenditure of all that energy is really worth the trouble.

10) you look in the mirror, realize that you look your age, and you don't care.