R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I have received innumerable comments on my less-than-Christian (or perhaps way-too-Christian, depending upon your perspective) stance on Anna Nicole Smith and her untimely (or overdue, again depending upon your perspective) demise. I have been told that I should show some respect.

If I am guilty of anything, it is refusing to see a 39-year-old, multimillionaire woman as a victim. I see no reason to pity her. If the latest reports are correct, she was using drugs throughout her pregnancy. The likelihood that her death was caused by drugs is exceedingly high. And it is my belief that Anna Nicole Smith is at least partly responsible for the current glamorization of inebriation. "If Anna Nicole can snort drugs and still be wildly wealthy, it can't be that harmful. Where's my pipe, LiLo?" Anna Nicole Smith wasn't Gracie-Allen loopy, an adorable little nut job. She was a full-fledged entrepreneur who marketed a toxic image to the American public. I mourn for the eight kids who were killed by a drunk driver. I mourn for Anna Nicole's innocent baby. I do not mourn for Anna Nicole. If that makes me a cold-hearted son of a bitch, so be it, but I think I am demonstrating more respect for her by holding her accountable than anyone who adopts a little frowny face at the mention of her name.

Or perhaps I'm just hormonal. At work I was hand picked to be a member of the senior leadership team. While I'm one of the oldest people on the team, I am still the most junior. On Thursday mornings at 9:00 we have a standing meeting without the CEO to discuss the details of various on-going projects. When the team was formed, we all agreed that one of our core values was mutual respect and that one of the key ways we could demonstrate that respect was to be on time for meetings. Yesterday was the third or fourth time I went to the conference room and sat there for fifteen minutes waiting for someone to show up. At 9:15 I went back to my desk and reviewed my e-mail to be sure I didn't miss a cancellation announcement. Then I sent out my own e-mail stating that I was removing this meeting from my calendar. Further, I would only be submitting my weekly updates to the CEO. If any of the team members wanted to know what I was doing, or if I could assist them with anything, they could come to me and ask me directly. No one responded.

So, I had meetings scheduled with two of the team members, one of whom was my boss. The meeting with my boss was to discuss a project that had been originally assigned to him in August, reassigned to another team member in October, and re-reassigned to me in November. I took four weeks to bring the project to the point where it needed review from my boss and it has sat on his desk for the last three months. I scheduled two meetings to discuss the project, and at the third meeting he still had not reviewed it, so we scheduled yesterday's meeting. Half an hour before the meeting I received an e-mail requesting that we push it back two hours. I did not respond, so he got up from his desk, walked the twenty feet to my desk, and asked if the new time was all right. I said no and did not explain. He sat down and tried to chat for a few minutes and I simply stared at him. He went away.

The second meeting was with the CFO. She was hired, in part, to establish a new division and generate a new stream of revenue. A manager was hired in October and since that time the manager has been left at a desk to decay, doing secretarial work. I went up and down the chain of command and asked if I could be of assistance, and everyone agreed that someone should do something, and from all reports my contributions have been very successful. Any development of any kind that has happened in that division is because of me. I didn't show up for my meeting with the CFO, and when she came to my office to see where I was, I told her I couldn't make the meeting. She stood in the doorway for a moment and then made a comment on how tidy my office was. "I had some extra time this morning." She went away.

I am currently of the mind that all respect must be earned. Just by converting oxygen into carbon dioxide does not entitle you to respect. At best it entitles you to indifference. For me, an individual begins to earn respect when he or she makes an effort to make a positive contribution. I'm not sure I even require success. But I do require effort.