Today, I had a Wiener.

I can usually feel a cold coming on for about two weeks before the first sniffle. I get lethargic and things start to fall apart. I can't manage to get the garbage out the back door and the laundry piles up around my bed. Well, the cold exploded with a big sneeze over the weekend. For the past couple of days I've been indulging in a little self-pity. When I'm sick, I just want someone to take my temperature and bring me apple juice while I was curled up on the sofa and watching toxic television. Nothing goes with a cold like Judge Judy.

Of course, my reality isn't reflected in that little fantasy. I live alone and there is rarely anything edible, let alone nourishing, in the house. I work in a restaurant and although I'm nowhere near undernourished, food is just not a priority for me. But, yesterday wallowing in the depths of my sniffling pity party I decided I was entitled, if not downright owed chocolate ice cream. So, I dragged myself to the little convenience store by the L and prayed they had chocolate ice cream. It was a big risk. Their ice cream selection it consists of strawberry and rum raisin. That's it. But I would not be deterred, and the Baby Jesus took pity on me. A whole quart of chocolate ice cream and a pint of chocolate sauce were waiting -- just for me -- and somehow I managed to get out of there without yopping. For some unknown reason, the clerk always insists on burning incense. This time it was raspberry-vanilla. That convenience store is another post.

I now believe that chocolate ice cream is the cure for the common cold. After eating half the carton, I was in heaven and felt revived. No doubt it was a combination of Baby Jesus' blessing, sugar and caffeine, but I was alive! This morning I decided to get things back on track and the first step was to go to the grocery store. Wandering up and down the aisles I was suddenly struck by cravings for foods I haven't had since childhood -- and I bought everything I wanted. Today's lunch was Oscar Meyer hotdogs. I haven't had a hotdog since at least puberty. I went all out too with onions and yellow mustard and chili and cheese. And then I was sick again. I don't expect to have another hotdog until sometime after Bush leaves office.

Now my refrigerator is stocked with things I never eat: like liver sausage and mayonnaise. My grandmother used to force liversausage into me on a daily basis, and I've never been able to stomach mayonnaise. Yet I was compelled by cravings for both of them on Wonder Bread. However, to my credit, I resisted the urge for pickled herring.