Mental Health Day

I called into work today. Actually, I e-mailed in that an uncle died and that I had to go to Iowa and take my mother to the funeral. I know I'm tempting karma that way, but I only have two uncles left, I don't really know them, and they've both lived long lives so I figured I could chance it. It's just that the level of insanity at work has reached epic proportions and if I went in today I would either be the emotional football between two warring sides or I would definitely say something I would regret.

First, let me say that I am not one to play hooky. The last time I did it was in 1987 -- and oddly enough it was pretty much for the same reason. Then, as now, I have a boss who is insane. I do not mean wacky, kooky insane. I mean get-the-net-and-the-Thorazine insane. He has officially alienated all but one of his management team -- the one believed to be smoking crack in the file room -- and me. And yesterday he started to turn on me.

You see, the company lost $4.5 million dollars last year, and although we were projected to make a modest profit this year, we continue to lose money. The CEO's team keeps making suggestions for improvements and he keeps coming up with reasons for not implementing them and doing nothing. And I really do mean nothing. And with each failure in the office, no matter what it is or how tangential I am to it, I get sat down and told why it's all my fault:

1) The manager for a new division quit because she got no support from the rest of the company. Never mind the fact that I objected to hiring this manager. Never mind the fact that I was not the supervisor for this division. Never mind the fact that I am the only who realized she was having problems. And never mind the fact that I am the ONLY one who stepped up and helped her in any way. The reason she failed is because I couldn't make the rest of the company play nice with her.

2) For a year that had record losses, the CEO -- against all advise -- went to the board and won record bonuses for the employees. He gave large pots of money to the division leaders, knowing full well they would take most of the money for themselves and cry that it wasn't enough. Never mind the fact that I wasn't included in any of the discussions preparing this plan. Never mind the fact that I wasn't consulted on how to roll out the plan; in spite of the fact that I've won an award doing just that. Never mind the fact that the CEO approved all of the bonuses. Now that the employees are pissed, it's my fault for not making it clear to them that they really shouldn't have gotten any bonuses at all, but that for the majesty and grace of the CEO they would be penniless.

3) We have one high-potential, all-star employee who has mishandled a few minor political issues within the office. The CEO had me sit the young man down and tell him that the CEO was considering demoting him, just to convey the message that the CEO was in charge. Never mind the fact that I spent six hours -- literally -- preventing this kid from quitting. Never mind the fact that I tried to set up a meeting for the two of them to talk. Never mind that every initiative this kid starts is thwarted by the CEO. The fact that this kid has lost all motivation and is plotting against the CEO is my fault because I haven't done enough to communicate this kid's value to the company.

Yesterday we had a management team meeting. We'd been having them without the CEO to discuss the details of various projects. Attendance had been spotty and enthusiasm for them low, so the third time I was the only one to show up for the meeting I sent out an e-mail to the rest of the team saying I would no longer participate in them. That was in January and finally someone took it upon themselves to schedule another meeting and ask me nicely to attend. The CEO got wind of it, interrupted the meeting and pulled me out of it to ask a silly question. At the end of the meeting, where nothing of any interest was discussed, I invited the CEO to join us for lunch. He responded, "I don't trust you guys." Then he made increasingly threatening comments to me throughout the day, just loud enough for the other managers to hear, presumably to intimidate them. He has no idea just how deeply he bores them.

Because of the precarious financial situation my job is on the line. You don't need an HR director when you have forty people. Brighter days are still promised, but I no longer believe the promises. I met with a recruiter this week and I intend to send out more resumes. I only have one uncle left and I'm not sure how soon I can kill him off for mental health reasons.