Dear Car Owner,

Here's a thought: if your car is so important to you that you have a car alarm installed, then you should park it where you can hear said car alarm. If your car alarm is going off for a solid three hours and you don't respond, that's pretty much an invitation, nay a plea, to steal it.

At the very least you're asking the neighbors to call the police and have it towed away.

Your Friend,

Hammy