Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Dearest, Darlingest Isaiah Washington,

It is in particular fashion these days to clarify comments that are made in the heat of the moment, or redefine actions that are committed in the heat of battle. In fact, the more successfully you define wet as dry, the brighter your star seems to shine the heavens.

Unfortunately, I was having the hair from my anus plucked while you were being interviewed on Larry King Live. I rarely miss such a telejournalistic event, but we faggots have to consider hygene above all else. I however, did read about it in the journalistice bedrock, here at People Online. As an actor and a faggot, I'd like to introduce you to a couple of concepts.

Even though you've said you said the "f-word," and then didn't say it, and then said it, but not about T.R. Knight, let me define a concept for you. It's called "hostile work environment." Setting aside your reputation for being a prima donna, a screaming match with a co-worker can lay the ground work for the creation of a hostile work environment. The use of the "f-word" pretty much seals the deal. There's another word that isn't used in polite society that describes a particular group of people. I wonder if you can think of what that word might be and how you might be responding if that word was bandied about in your work environment. Even if that word was not directed at you specifically, rather to imply someone was being "weak." How anxious would you be to work with a person who so freely demonstrated his contempt? Not to mention ignorance. It takes an especially strong man to take a ten-inch long, six-inch around dick up his tight hairless anus. Or so I'm told.

As for acting...well, most competent actors find it's helpful to have another actor present while performing a scene. It's believed that actors, instead of simply reciting words from a page, often are actually creating a relationship for their audience's viewing pleasure. Implicit in that is that at least two people are present in the scene. I understand you are only interested in what happens when the camera is pointed at you, but out of professional courtesy you really should at least try to act like you care whether your co-workers are ready to receive your performance.

You boldly made the claim that you can act. I have to say that is the boldest act of redefinition I've yet to see. Do you know George Bush? I do so hope I have the opportunity to see your acting...at some point...before I die.

Your faggoty-ass faggot friend,

Hammy

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well said.