The Ticking Clock

It's oppressively humid this morning, the sky like wet cotton balls pressing down. The kind of days I hate. You tell yourself that things would be better if it rained, but you know its a lie. It literally is not the heat, it's the humidity.

I slept late this morning, getting up at about 8:30, and then wandered out in search of breakfast. My love affair with my waffle iron is on the wane. I've been through four boxes of mix and I've had enough for now. I'm sure it will rekindle again in four or five years. But at the moment, the only thing in my kitchen is dirty dishes and canned peaches. I'd order more groceries, but I will barely be home this week. Next weekend is the final concert with the chorus for the season, and it's the week before my vacation so things will be hectic at work. But then I will have nine consecutive, glorious, paid days off.

Those nine days are taking on increased significance for me. In particular, this morning I became acutely aware of the ticking clock and all of the things I want to accomplish that simply are not getting done. This post for one thing is a product of that awareness. I must take my writing more seriously. To that end, I've been doing a great deal of reading and have mapped out both my reading and writing summer. I've just finished Jane Smiley's book on writing novels. In it she lists one hundred books to reference in creating fiction. I obviously cannot read all one hundred this summer -- it took Smiley three years -- but I have identified three that Smiley refers to lavishly in her book: Anna Karenina, Don Quixote, and Beloved. I've started Anna and I'm almost to the point where I stopped reading the first time I picked it up, which is not very far. Smiley did Anna in a month. I've given myself two weeks. Also, by the end of my vacation, I want to have five short stories roughed out as well as a preliminary outline for a novel. My next class starts on July 18, and by then I want to have two more stories roughed. If I can get one more done by Labor Day, I'll be cranking, but then I'll have to put aside all writing as I'm anticipating the fall term to be almost unbearable in work load. The holiday break should complete the collection in preparation for the beginning of shopping it around after the first of the year.

There. I've posted the schedule on the web for all the world to see. If history repeats itself, that virtually insures that New Year's Eve will roll around and I'll have nothing to show for my time. But my relationship to time seems to be changing. I feel it tightening. A day isn't as long as it used to be and the list of things I want to accomplish just seems to extend into infinity. If I try to see the end of the list, I get dizzy; so the best course of action is to take the first step and not look up for the rest of the year.

Also, I'm trying to make the committment to at least one blog post a week. I must keep my loyal readers entertained!