Lazy Days of Autumn

Sometimes I wish I was a whole lot smarter or a whole lot dumber. I went to the interview yesterday and all I could think was, "You're a lunatic." The woman was near sixty with tousled, waist-length, honey-blond hair, smudged, red lipstick, and blue-black rings around her eyes. When she asked me if I had any questions, I had to bite my tongue not to ask, "Who do you think you're kidding?"

But, I didn't ask that. I was polite and charming, without trying to appear too eager. I think I managed to act surprised by the questions: "What are your strengths?" "What are your weaknesses?" Those are questions that come up in interviews with department managers. The HR director is supposed to have better, more insightful questions than that. At least I always do. I felt like the entire interview I was depleting my IQ by half with every question. If it had gone on much longer I probably would have had to start drooling.

Whereas if I'd been smarter I could have found some profundity to the questions, and yet answered in pithy, multilayered answers that would resonate through her swirling mind throughout the day and continually startled her throughout the day with my brilliance.

So, the interview went well enough. I should be called back to meet the staff sometime next week, but if I'm not that recruiter has me lined up with another job. It's the job I'd prefer, but the recruiter seems to be holding it hostage, waiting to see if I land this other one. In the meantime, I was contacted for a third position that would be more suited to me than the other two. They sent an e-mail inviting me to visit their website and asking if I'd be interested in interviewing. I responded with a suggested time in my busy, busy schedule and we'll see how that plays out.

But frankly, I don't know how I would ever have time for a job. How is it these days just seem to evaporate? And it's not like I'm lolling in bed until noon everyday. I'm usually up by 7:00, and before I know it, it's 4:00 and I haven't eaten anything. And I'm not even sacrificing my days to the television. I can just endlessly entertain myself on the Internet and reading and putzing around the house. It's a disgrace.