Interviews

There is something to be said for living in the positive, for seeing the potential and not being sidetracked by the negative. Shoot for the moon and even if you miss you land in the stars.

Lately I've been surprised by how much I've done that in my life. Potential and possibility as opposed to history and fact have been been my watch words.

Yesterday I had a fourth interview for a job that was essentially the exact same job I just left, but more so. I met with the man who would be my boss and he did a brilliant job of making the job attractive, but about half way through I realized that he framed it in terms of how he'd like to see the position evolve. He spoke of his vision. All of that was fine, but an aspect of this job is supporting the head of a particular division, and there was no mention of what he thought was required in the position. There was no "we" are looking for this, only "I" want this.

That was a huge red flag to me. On more than one occasion I've been hired by someone who decides to take the position in a different direction, only to find that the boss failed to alert anyone else that the job has changed. I end up spending the first year realigning everyone's expectations -- especially my own.

What's more, it was clear that I'd been required to truss myself up in a suit and tie for a simple meet and greet. There were no other meetings scheduled and there really should have been. After four interviews, I should have been introduced to the head of the division at least, but nothing. It became clear that the entire process was a colossal waste of my time.

So, I cheerfully returned the favor. I became endlessly fascinated with the most minute detail of the organization. If I have one talent, it's coming up with questions that are precisely on point and defy a canned response. That's what makes me an excellent recruiter. I counted four different times when the conversation ground to a halt when I asked a question, my interviewer's eyes grew wider and he'd start his response with, "That's an excellent question...I don't really know..." and then he'd stammer something that sounded like an answer to the question, but really wasn't. I stretched what was to have been a ten-minute handshake and smile into an hour and ten minutes. Then I thanked him for his time and stood up to leave.

To be absolutely fair, my enthusiasm for the job was manufactured. I can think of nothing duller than discussing how to improve morale, or how to manage the performance of a weak employee, or looking at colorful organization charts. When will HR people realize that what looks pretty on the page really has little application in real life? With a feeling like that, I'm not a good interview subject.

The second company sent me an e-mail asking me to write eight mini-essays in response to their preliminary questions before scheduling an actual interview. I kid you not, question number three was, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" That question went out with the requirement that women wear skirts and hose and men's hair must clear their collar. Still, I dredged up the "I'm going to rule the world from a job just like this one," response. Then question four was if I'd submit to the personality profile.

Of course I said I would, but I also said that I thought there were more reliable techniques to determining whether a candidate was a fit for an organization. I did NOT say that standardized personality profiles are borderline illegal, that even the most scientific profile is undermined by the inherent bias of the profile writer, and that the results invariably prejudice the recruiting team by implying that a momentary snapshot, taken during a stressful situation such as the recruiting process, is a definitive portrait of the candidate. Frankly, I'd prefer to ask the applicant what his sign is and consult the Magic 8 Ball.

But in interviews I've been asked if I'm Jewish, how much I weigh, whether or not I'm married, whether or not I'm gay, and how old I am. Only once did I resist answering the question. Every other time I decided that it simply wasn't worth the headache and answered the question. But, if I was litigious I'd own a couple of companies today.

So, I'm going to continue sending out my resume and I'm going to continue putting my little business together. Next week is when I'm scheduled to start putting my PhD applications together. It looks like I'm not going to settle for the comfort of corporate America, but shoot for the moon.

When I first started acting, I hated auditions.