Waitress

I am a fool for a romantic comedy. I have seen them all -- love them all. I can say with great authority that the quintessential of the modern genre is You've Got Mail. Not my all-time favorite, but it has the formula down nice and tight. If that's taken care of, even a cinematic horror like Meg Ryan cannot mess it up.

Last night, after many attempts, my friend Cathy and I saw Waitress. It's an unpretentious little romantic comedy that understands the genre and as a result very smartly knows where to put the twists. It's a delight, and almost worth the $10 ticket price. (Understand that I hesitate to spend the $3.99 for the In Demand movies on cable. $10 is a major entertainment investment.) Think Like Water for Chocolate meets Frankie and Johnnie in the Claire de Lune with a smidge of Private Benjamin.

Two things bothered me about this movie, and both are symptomatic of the portrayal of diner staff. Working in the service industry in general, and restaurants in particular, is a great way to earn fast cash. That's why it is usually staffed with students and artistic types. It's hard work and the jobs are disposable. However, those people in the industry who are in it for the long haul tend to be very interesting, and therefore ripe material for artistic projects.

Much of the story of Waitress is set in a road-side diner, or more accurately a diner found deep in the middle of the woods, and it seems to require a Greyhound Bus to get to it. OK, I can suspend my disbelief that far. Keri Russel plays the title character, a heart-of-gold young woman who loves her job, but finds herself caught in a terrible situation. The "loves her job" part is important. Aside from the fact that every movie waitress from Mildred Pierce to Keri Russel has loved her job, she's also supposed to be the greatest thing to ever walk in orthopedic oxfords.

So, why is it that every waitress since Mildred Pierce (Joan actually got this right) does not know how to serve a glass of water? I've worked with a few diner wonder waitresses, and they all know you NEVER touch the rim of the glass. Yet in the movies they all come to a table, cradling a tray against their bosoms, chewing gum and contaminating their customer's beverages. We can CGI entire galaxies, but we cannot require our actresses to do some basic research. Disgraceful.

The second point is that we're supposed to believe that rail-thin Keri Russel with her professional lip liner is supposed to be a blue-collar waitress. She's supposed to be a little frumpy, with low self esteem. Keri Russel is the Hollywood version of frumpy?

Now, I understand that the romantic comedy is fantasy. That's why I go to them. It's never going to happen in my life -- eyes lock from across a crowded room, violins swell, and romantic hilarity ensues -- but for ninety minutes I can dream. But please, don't insult what little intelligence I have to engage by telling me Keri Russel is frumpy and that she doesn't know how to serve a glass of water.