Arrogant Snot

It's becoming more and more difficult for me to contain my contempt for recruiters. The relationship typically begins with a breathless, bouncy call, all excited because they received a resume with no typos and then progresses to a face-to-face interview, where some fresh-faced woman (sorry, but they're always women) asks earnest questions about my work history, scribbling cryptic, politically correct notes. Then she ends the conversation with, "I'm working on several positions and I'll be in touch over the next couple of days."

What they don't mention is that the "several positions" they're "working" are the same ads that I've seen and submitted my resume to. And somehow, they think that because they've read my resume, made a phone call and conducted a thirty-minute interview, an employer should pay upwards of twenty thousand dollars for presenting me to them...when my resume is more than likely already in the pile they've already received.

I got one of those calls today. The conversation took a turn when she came up with, "I see you have some HR experience."

"I actually have quite a bit of HR experience."

"Well, is that something you want to continue, or are you looking to get out of human resources?"

"I'm looking to make money. Honestly, I can do anything."

We discuss my background a little further where I make it clear that I can form a declarative sentence and communicate a concept more complicated than hunger.

"Well, could you come in and meet me sometime next week?

"Sure. I'm working a temp assignment, so can we meet after five o'clock?"

"We don't generally do that."

"Oh, OK."

See, if I truly were a great candidate for a perfect job, she'd stay past five o'clock to interview that perfect candidate. The candidate who is more than likely going bring her twenty thousand dollars in revenue.

"Everyone we interview is looking for a job. Sometimes we meet them over their lunch hours."

"Well, I don't have a full hour for lunch on this assignment."

"OK. Give me a call when your temp assignment is done."

Not. A. Chance.